1. |
Home Remedy
03:14
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I need noise cancelling headphones
To cancel the noise inside my head
Have you tried deep breathing?
Is all anyone says
I hate you i love you come here please just leave
I'm questioning symptoms and signs of relief
the motive the medic the terrible heat
I talk without speaking I can't take a seat
The only one I hurt is me or at least that is what I think
Are you kidding me? I tried every home remedy
Ruled out amphetamines
Wake up sweaty from every dream
And any time I think that I'm dying
I'm usually fine
I need wireless technology
To untangle the wires inside of my body
Maybe it's poor circulation
just exercise, well I'm trying
I'm not getting better but I'm not getting worse
A little less put together started with the dirt
An opiate blocker thank god that it works
I'm tired and I'm stressing but its a good hurt
I guess there's a reason I'm still here
(I'm usually fine)
I found a home remedy sitting right next to me
I was so lost before I knew
Woke up sweaty from every dream
Ruled out amphetamines
My home remedy is you.
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2. |
Explode! (Into Pieces)
02:46
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You said I've got to get this straight but you don't want to lead the way
I wish that we could get away but there is nothing to celebrate
I only want to be careless for a couple hours but my brain won't give me anymore
Other than on the surface
Everything else is perfect
I want to explode to pieces
So the pressure releases
I don't wanna be a stress ball for you to throw against the wall
I'm trying so hard to be brave it's no good for my mental state
I wish there was a better day when neither of us have a headache
I only want to be social for a couple hours but my brain wont give me anymore
Other than on the surface
Everything else is perfect
I want to explode to pieces
So the pressure releases
I don't wanna be a stress ball for you to throw against the wall
I want to keep all of the parts that were so close to our hearts
You can take the rest back bury it till we're back on track.
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3. |
No Thanks
02:10
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My birthday was so bittersweet
My twenties slipped away from me
I couldn’t face it much to my dismay
Lonely as lonely can be
With all of my friends surrounding me
I couldn’t think of anything to say
It was the best night of my life
No thanks to you
It was the first time I had fun
Not needing no one
Convinced that they all hated me
For something that happened last week
I showed up but I didn’t want to stay
It was the best night of my life
No thanks to you
It was the first time I had fun
Not needing no one
And the bad thoughts when they come
Don’t mean as much
It was the first time I had fun
Not needing no one.
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4. |
Is This a Drug
03:14
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Is this a drug or is it a cure?
I'm looking for answers that I haven't heard
Is this a chemical or is it pure?
Not like it matters as long as it works
Maybe it's just my luck or I just don't care enough
I'm so hopeful
I believe everything
I don't give up easily
Am I in love or is this a trick?
Are these butterflies or am i just sick?
I need a connection I can't put to words
I want to listen I want to be heard
maybe its just my luck or i just don't care enough
I'm so hopeful
I believe everything
I don't give up easily
I'm so hateful
Everyone's after me
I don't give up easily
You shouldn't listen to the things they say
You shouldn't let them work you up this way
(Is this a drug or is this a cure?
I'm looking for answers that I haven't heard).
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5. |
Oh Please
03:20
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I'm lacking some confidence
But I don't think it's permanent
I put in the work
Still I'm not sure
If this was ever meant
Now I'm bending over backwards and I can't feel my knees
I'm reading all these articles on home remedies
It manifests in shaking screaming obscenities
I'm begging release
Oh please
I can't pay a single bill
I haven't seen a doctor still
I just hope this doesn't kill me
I'm running up my bank account
But it won't clear for that amount
Comfortable as I can be
Dove in head first
Drove and I swerved
I was asleep at the wheel
I'm making progress
But I'm such a mess
And i don't know how i feel
Now I'm bending over backwards and I can't feel my knees
I'm reading all these articles that no one should see
It manifests in shaking screaming obscenities
I'm begging release
Oh please
Staring at the ceiling with light from the TV
There's noise in the background from some Netflix series
My head is screaming words that i just don't want to repeat
I wish that i could just blink
I'm begging release
Oh please.
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6. |
Size of My Heart
03:22
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I wish I held on to ticket stubs
Old posters and all of the above
Can't store it all in my memory
So don't act like this offended me
I toss and turn when I try to fight
The should haves that keep me up at night
I'd benefit from a referee
For all my friends and my enemies
But anytime I bring it up
Well no one seems to give a fuck
I've got something to say
I'm not feeling okay
I can't carry the weight of anyone else
I've been feeling this way
For longer than a day
Now I'm starting to hate the size of my heart
The Carolinas in a postcard
That I never sent I'm so scarred
But your reactions to everything
But my reactions are just as mean
And anytime I bring it up
You don't seem to give a fuck
Maybe it's just temporary
Maybe I just learned on my own
I hope this is temporary
Oh, I just hate being alone.
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7. |
Your Frequency
02:40
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It’s harder when you’re an adult
Just to keep your stomach full
It can start to feel like a chore
No matter the severity
You’re still trying to live the dream
Even though your back is so sore
So go and get a second job
Work until your arms fall off
Dying but you don’t know what for
Feel the need to pump the breaks
Don’t know why your elbow shakes
You wonder why your health is so poor
You wanted to meet up with me
But I keep saying I’m busy
I want to match your frequency
Let it all roll off of me
Tell them all fuck off for me
I’m sick of being so busy
in the inbetween you were always there for me
go on and say a prayer for me
I’m sick of being so busy
I just wanna call it quits
But I’ll just get over it
Really gotta keep myself in check
Because sometimes my blood starts to boil like overheated motor oil
I’m the only one who’s sticking out my neck.
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8. |
Sensitive Motherf*cker
03:02
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My father never told me not to cry
I never really had to be a tough guy
I just don't know what that's like
No matter how hard I try
Try to fight but I soften up always
Talk it out and never bottle it up
Because I'm just a sensitive motherfucker
I'm just a sensitive man
I promise I won't ever love another
I'm just a sensitive motherfucker
I over-communicate
It's something my insecurities dictate
A part of me that I hate
I've just got so much on my plate
And though it didn't work out well
For my 22 year old self
I'm still walking on eggshells
It's obvious that I need help
I will never
Dodge your calls
And I will never
Break your confidence
I will show up
To talk it out again
I hope you know you can stop worrying.
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9. |
The Facts
03:36
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I am reminded of things in my past
I am convinced my delusions are facts
Oh the future might bring incredible things
But I'll kick and I'll scream until I intervene with it
I'm not immune to specific attacks
I'm too far gone and I'm not coming back
Oh I shouldn't share things it's starting to scare me
I'll rationalize until you can provide the facts
I stay up too late, I wake up too early
And I'm always late and I am unworthy
Any time I try to rhyme it sounds forced
Hate what you create until you find the source
Oh all I'm fighting for
Are goosebumps and heart jumps a little bit more
I'm not subscribed to the current events
I am just trying to cover my rent
Oh the world is a mess, I'm a ball of stress
And I don't wanna know
I think that it's for the best
I want perfection but I'm not exact
I'm just not sure I can take all the flack
Oh I'm careful to wait
Remember the date
I'm a little ashamed
But i promise I'll keep coming back
I stay up too late, I wake up too early
And I'm always late, oh I'm in a hurry
More than a moment more than a gift
More than those seconds I'd like to relive
I want a comfort that I cannot find
I'll stop asking questions when I get a sign
Any indication and I'll get back to the grind.
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10. |
Cash Out
03:04
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I'm making deals with my subconscious self
If it gets worse I'll ask for help
And I need a check but I've got nothing to sell
So I'm putting in some hours but it's not working out well
And I don't know what else to do
There's nothing that I can contribute to
Is this the reason that we're dying?
It's probably more affordable so just stop trying
I really really wish that I could help you out
But it will be a few years before I cash out
So let's resume are you not feeling well
If it gets worse you might need some help
But our insurance lapsed so much for mental health
We are spiraling and spiraling yeah this is total hell
The Arizona heat is climbing and it's only April
So stay inside we've got to hide and fake it through the day til
It gets dark and it's slightly more bearable
Then we'll realize that life is not so terrible.
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